Couple Therapy Intensives
Sometimes there is just no time to waste. For couples in crisis or couples just wanting to get down to work in a concentrated time frame, we offer several options for more intensive couples therapy.
Immersive Couple Therapy
Weekly couples therapy can be a slow start for those with an urgent need to find answers to relationship problems that have piled up high or feel hopelessly stuck. Making a commitment to work together with an expert therapist in an intensive format for up to 13 hours over 2-3 days allows the opportunity to really dig-in to the heart of the matter and discover new possibilities.
Using Emotionally Focused Therapy as a template for understanding the ways couples get stuck, we move from assessing what has gone wrong to experiencing new ways of relating that restore connection and instill hope.
Depending on your time availability, the issues you are dealing with, and your financial resources, you may opt to do anywhere from a one-day-plus (7.5hr) to a two-day-plus intensive.
All one-day-plus intensives are generally offered on select Thursdays or Fridays with the first 90 minutes session the evening before. The two-day plus usually begins Wednesday followed by two full days.
Sample schedule for the one-day-plus intensive:
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Introductory Couples Session:
Wednesday or Thursday Evening 7-8:30pm
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Full Day: Thursday or Friday
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9:30am-12pm Two-75 minute Individual Sessions
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12-1:30pm Lunch
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1:30-5pm Couple Therapy Follow-Up Session
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Sample schedule for the two-day-plus intensive:
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Introductory Couple Session:
Wednesday Evening 7-8:30pm
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First Full Day: Thursday
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9:30am-12pm Two-75 minute Individual Sessions
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12-1:30pm Lunch
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1:30- 5pm Couple Session
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Second Full Day: Friday
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9:30am-12:30pm Couple Session
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1:30-4:30pm Final Couple Session
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Follow-Up Session 4-6 weeks later, 60-minutes scheduled at couple’s convenience in person or via teleconference (this time can alternatively be used to follow up with an ongoing couple therapist)
What would we hope to accomplish in this accelerated time frame?
The right length couple therapy intensive can be determined based on your availability, financial resources, and level of urgency. Keep in mind that most couple therapy is conducted for approximately an hour a week, so even a one-day plus retreat offers a way to get through what would otherwise take six-weeks to two-months. A two-day plus retreat gives us time to really dive in deeply to the heart of the matter, infusing new hope and practical strategies by the end.
The first 90-minute session is your opportunity to talk about your relationship, both the ways you feel stuck now in the present as well as each of your views about what brought you together. As you tell your story and share the pain of what has gone wrong, we will be tracking the relational dance between you and referencing what we now know as the science of love relationships to help you make sense of your experience.
We follow this initial meeting the next morning with two 75-minute individual sessions so that we can learn a little about each of your histories and get a fuller sense of your individual concerns about the relationship.
The remainder of day one, we come together to really dig into the first stage of treatment, the de-escalation of the conflict cycle. What this means is that we try to understand the relationship pattern that continues to undermine your connection, specifically by exploring what emotions are driving the behaviors that pull you apart.
If we have the next day to continue our work, we will take steps towards finding new ways to strengthen the bond between you by expressing the fears that get in the way, and voicing each of your needs with a newly emerging vulnerability.
Consider gifting your relationship a Couple Retreat.
Do any of the following statements sound familiar?
"We have a communication breakdown that has persisted for years."
"My partner doesn't talk to me. I feel so alone in this relationship."
"I can't get my partner off my back. Nothing I ever do is good enough."
"I can't ever get over what my partner did to me."
"I have tried everything. If this doesn't work, we are finished."
"We are ok, but something is missing. We live parallel lives."
"My partner is no longer attracted to me."
"The conflict is unbearable, but underneath it all, we love each other."
Being in a relationship on a downward spiral is downright scary. It can often feel like you barely recognize your partner as the person you fell in love with. This can cause you to question everything and want to run for the hills if things don't change. Chances are you have already tried a number of things and the situation looks hopeless.
This immersive experience creates a safe container to explore what it takes to turn your relationship in a new direction. Your therapist serves as an expert guide helping you to unscramble the confusing messages embedded in unresolved conflict and access the deeper emotions so often hidden from view.
What if we need more than what can be accomplished in 2-days plus?
It is hard to predict in advance exactly how much traction you will gain from this concentrated experience, but some couples actually gain such a boost that they can take it from there. However, for others, it is advisable to follow up the intensive with ongoing couple therapy, as there may be a need to integrate the learning and skills over time. If you are needing help finding a skilled therapist in your home location, we will discuss options as we wrap up our time together.
How do we know if this approach is right for us?
A pre-screening interview on Zoom with both members of the couple is conducted prior to making the commitment or paying a deposit. If we decide to move forward, a contract is sent out to be signed, followed by an extensive intake packet to be submitted the week before the initial meeting so that your therapist is already familiar with the particular strengths and weaknesses of your relationship.
What are the fees and how is the payment made?
The cost for a 7.5 hour one-day plus intensive is $2,500, while the cost for the two-day plus intensive is $4,000. Payments can be made by check or credit card. A deposit of 50% is required to hold the date with the balance due the day of our meeting. Fees will be discussed on a case-by-case basis as needed. Insurance does not cover this service.
Do we meet in person or online?
The couple therapy intensive is an in-person experience in downtown Northampton, MA. Out-of-town couples are encouraged to find local lodging to minimize commute time, and all couples are encouraged to consider the time frame as a couple retreat from the rest of life's obligations. If this is not possible due to child care or work constraints, we can hold the initial couples session and even the two individual meetings online earlier in the week, then meet in-person for the heart of the couples sessions Thursday afternoon and all day Friday.
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This was a last-ditch effort for us to say that at least we had tried everything to save our marriage, but we actually didn't expect much to change. But by the end of the first full day, we were shocked to discover how much we both wanted the same things and had simply been missing each other over and over in the ways we had been relating. By the end of the second day, we truly felt we had a new framework for reaching each other and a plan in place for how to find our way back when we inevitably fell back into old patterns.
This experience was transformative and we are deeply grateful."
--A & L
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Working with Nancy during our two-day plus intensive injected energy and hope back into our relationship. We now have a new awareness of how to recognize and address issues as they arise, and how to untangle ourselves when we get knotted up as a couple. We are so grateful to have found you, Nancy!”
– R & V
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We’d been married for 30 years and reached a point where we grated on each other every day. Frustration, anger, resentment, alienation. We made each other unhappy and had no idea how to fix it, despite trying many times over many years. Another counselor recommended a two-day plus intensive with Nancy, which we arranged, essentially as one final try before giving up entirely. Those concentrated hours over three days changed our outlook completely. Nancy helped us remember why we loved each other. She coached us on how to break through the walls we’d built, to see and understand each other’s perspectives, to be more caring toward each other, to get past the negatives and focus on the positives. Now we’re almost a year into what we call Version 2.0 of our marriage, and it’s going great. Thanks so much!”
– R & A